Testimonies of Past Pretenders:

  • After repeating a sinner's prayer when I was four years old, I assured myself that I'd now had, in the spiritual sense at least, a ticket to heaven and that God was obliged to let me in. During the next twelve years, I lived in a Christian home, was homeschooled with Biblically-based curriculum, was in church every Sunday and at youth group every Wednesday. I attended Vacation Bible School , spent years in Awanas, and went on mission trips. I spent five years working with the technical team for the Youth Group. I estimated that I listened to about six hundred sermons and during all this time I was filled with hypocrisy and extreme guilt. I never understood why I failed continually in the spiritual realm, why I had no desire to read the Bible, and why I prayed only when I wanted something from God.

    Looking back now, I see that God was calling me to salvation, even though I had no idea of God's calling at the time. I remember specifically getting a Chronicles of Narnia tract after a Creationist/Evolutionist debate. There were also audio sermons with clear gospel messages. My world was shaken after I'd attended a worldview weekend, at this time, I was still seeking to be a filmmaker. I listened to a message from Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, I began to listen to Way of the Master Radio, and I went through the Basic Training Course. Realize that as this was all happening I still was just pretending, a nominal Christian or a Christian by name only.

    After a month or two witnessing and evangelizing, I'd been asked to work at Child Evangelism Fellowship for the summer. I went to a one week training, during which I was absolutely unable to teach a simple Bible lesson for children. Broken inside about this, I sought counseling from the director, he gave me some Bible verses to read. After having read them, I broke down and wept for an hour. I wrestled with God, there was so much I wanted to keep for myself, but men must surrender all to God. It was not a pleasant experience, but a life-changing experience. At the end of the hour, I simply cried out to God to save me and He did. Peace pervaded my soul. The guilt was gone, I had hope, for the first time of my life, Christ became my Savior.

    It has now been three years since my salvation and God is continually calling me to give up more of my life and worries to Him. Before my conversion and during the time I evangelized, I was the shyest person on the face of the planet, I didn't talk about God, I didn't talk about much anything.  God is using me for a specific purpose in the world, I still don't exactly what the end result is, but my purpose is to give up my life for Jesus Christ. Never, never, never assume that because you adhere to the Christian doctrines and ideas doesn't mean you're going to Heaven. The question you must ask yourself is this ...

    What if I'm pretending?

    - Logan

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